1. Loving Kris has always been effortless. He is my best friend and we have literally scraped each other up from the bottom of the barrel a few times in our eight years together.
2. To say that we are perfect would be a lie. Perfect? No. Dedicated? Yes. Willing to work? Yes.
3. Recently we experienced our first bump in the road so to speak. We have argued before but never fought over deception or other legitimate issues.
4. So many webs had been weaved that I don't even remember where it began.
5. I remember my anger though - burning white like hot iron - blinding my ability to reason.
6. My anger delivered like a hammer striking again and again. What happened? What didn't you tell me?
7. I am nothing short of relentless when I am trying to get to the bottom of something.
8. And Kris? He tends to bottle everything not wanting to burden anyone.
9. Surprisingly all I needed to hear to extinguish the fire was the truth and all Kris needed was trust.
10. It's funny - this marriage thing.
How did you handle your first real argument with someone you love?
The willingness to work through issues and sort out those webs is so important. I feel like sometimes it's easier to walk away than to deal with the muck, but in the long run, that's not the answer. I'm sorry you went through such a rough time, but glad that you found a way to work through it.
ReplyDeleteWhen we argue, it can get bad, but after we cool down, we talk about and figure out what we can do better the next time. Because we're going to argue again--it's inevitable!
You're right - its not the answer!
DeleteIf we don't talk something through I can't get passed it and my anger resurfaces later.
I can't remember how we worked through our first argument, but we did.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is key, yet so hard.
I'm glad you found a way to work it out.
Is always awkward during your first fight because you don't really know how the other person will react.
DeleteI like to just yell it out and then I'm done and good to go. That really bothers the husband though. Learning process for sure!
We are the same way...I need to know everything, he bottles it up. Marriage is hard. I'm glad you were able to fix it!
ReplyDeleteah, been there, done that. #9 rings so true to me.
ReplyDeleteOh, Geez...first fight...I can't remember. We are fighters by nature which I don't like but he is from the camp of "do what I want and apologize later" and that makes for a lot of fighting. I think I yell a lot and then leave. It drives him crazy when I leave but I need to get away from it before I handle it because I have a tongue like a viper and don't want to lash out and say things I'll regret. Marriage is hard and it's something you can't ever stop working on. It is sometimes exhausting. Worth it but exhausting. Glad you worked through it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is hard work...and it will have ups and downs but it's how you handle it that makes you guys stronger.
ReplyDeleteIt's painful and tough when it happens, but once you've overcome your differences, your relationship just becomes stronger. Good to know that you're dedicated and willing to work on it. That makes all the difference.
ReplyDeleteWhew, first fights are not easy. The one that comes to mind for me was certainly not the first, but it was the first when I really felt betrayed because he'd kept something from me. We had to do a lot of talking about what does and doesn't, should and shouldn't get shared between us. It's never happened again, and we were much stronger for having gotten through that. Glad the two of you found the combination (truth and trust) to see you through!
ReplyDeleteWe definitely talk it out when each one has calmed down!
ReplyDeleteI remember our first fight vividly, even though it was 7 years ago. I said things I didn't mean and I never want to do that again. Now, I try to really think out what I want to say and discuss it with him. Marriage really IS hard. It's always a learning process! Always!
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